The Duel

A fictional piece brought to you by too much Benadryl and not enough sleep. 

The attack is a total surprise, catching me off guard and I barely manage to escape a fatal wound in those first few seconds.  Groping blindly I finally find a sword in my hands and, clumsy though I am with it, I manage to hold my own for a little bit.  Sparring desperately I notice a pattern to the attacks, thrust parry thrust retreat, almost as if my opponent is giving me a chance to recover before pushing again.  Too bad I never actually have enough time to recover anything.  Equilibrium, balance, a chance to lick my wounds, nothing.  Bleeding badly I stagger on, fighting desperately and trying anything in my arsenal to hold my opponent at bay.  I scream for help, hoping someone is near enough to hear me.  In my brief moments of lucidity I realize I should have seen this fight coming, but somehow it has totally sneaked up on me, and now there is nothing left to do but attempt to muscle through.  


I realize suddenly that what I thought was a random pattern of attacks has managed to herd me into a most precarious position, right on the edge of a cliff.  Great, I think to myself, just what I need.  I try to sneak glances around me to attempt this trap I've walked right into, but there's no time.  I just keep fighting desperately, trying to avoid any more wounds.  I'm already bleeding in dozens of places, weakening me and making my reaction time slower, so its not a surprise really when i find myself balancing on the very edge of the cliff I was trying to avoid.  Sighing I wipe the sweat and blood from my brow and attempt an offensive maneuver that should give me an opportunity to retreat from the battle.  Sadly my opponent is way more skilled than I remember her being, and this gains me nothing.  "Crap"  I mutter.  I'm in for it now. Surely someone has heard me, heard this vicious battle going on?  Surely someone has heard my cries for help by now right? 


The next exchange of blows is the most brutal yet.  No matter how I attack, how a I defend, she is always right there ready to prick, ready to wound, turning my attacks to her advantage.  Finally I stand on the very brink of the cliff, teetering desperately.  I wobble wildly, hoping against hope that somehow, I can escape and survive.  Suddenly as I'm sure I'm headed over the precipice someone grabs my hand.  Then again on the other side.  I look to my left, and then to my right, and gasp with relief.  I've been heard.  Friends stand with me, Family right beside me.  Rescue is here.  Support, encouragement, and the strength to go on.  I take a deep breath and prepare to fight on, but my opponent just stands there, smiling gently.  With this group, with this support, there is no longer any need for battle, for she cannot stand against such numbers, against such love.  Without them, I am weak, outnumbered against this huge opponent, but with them, she dare not stand.   

For the support, for the love, for pulling my ass back from brink more times than I care to count, my thanks. 
Happy Mother's Day to all my moms.  I have been blessed to have so many willing to walk the path with me, and to have such a strong support network when I need it.   Love to you all. 

Happy Easter!

We had a wonderful weekend of Easter goodness.  B's parents were in town and it was lovely as always to see them.  I got to make pizza dough, and brioche dough, and a whole wheat boule for bread making.  I also roasted a duck for the first time and crockpotted a passable chicken.  My mil gifted me with a BRAND NEW set of cookware!  It doesn't get any better than that.  I no longer have to haul out the stockpot to make maccheezz because my other pot was dirty.  Yes, Until this weekend I only had two pots.  It worked.  Sorta.  The easter bunny was great to the girls and they had a wonderful time decorating easter eggs.  Gramma brought little easter egg cakes and we frosted and decorated those for dessert.  We all had a blast with that.  I sense a new tradition. 

I've been practicing more faithfully, which is excellent because this concert is going to kick my arse if I don't.  Tchaik 6 is not to be trifled with, and I really need to get a reliable reed working before rehearsal this week.  I feel more confident when I practice, and I'm getting in at LEAST one session a week on top of rehearsal, and more usually two.  That feels really good. 

Running is going ok, its been raining and cruddy all last week, and that really really made it hard to run, but I did last weekend, but not Easter weekend, so I'd like to go twice this week.  I'm thinking tomorrow and Wednesday.  Not ideal to go two days in a row, but those are my best options this week.

Things are starting to grow in my garden!  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.  No really.  B is sick to death of me running out to the garden to check my four pea plants.  Just ask him.  Oh, wait no, I checked today and I'm up to six, two more sprouted.  So there.  Six pea plants.  SIX.  and I have a basil plant from the grocery store in my kitchen window, along with mystery seeds that Boo came home with from preschool today.

As far as preserving and baking news goes, well, there were the breads mentioned above, and a slew of cupcakes and attendant frosting.  God I love frosting.  Yum.  Buttercream take me away.  Though much as I love frosting and cake and sweets, I'm getting done with them.  I'm ready for produce from the garden.  I'm ready for salads for dinner.  I'm ready for runner beans and peas.   I did do a lovely batch of strawberry jam since my local grocery store had an insane sale on strawberries last week.  I literally bought 12 pounds of strawberries.   We ate six.  I'm not kidding.  And um, I was NOT the main devourer this time.  Maus should by all rights be red by now.  But three pounds went into a lovely basic strawberry jam.  It suffered from fruit float pretty badly, but that doesn't affect the taste or keeping qualities of the jam, just the asthetics.  The remaining three pounds were sliced and frozen and then bagged in one pound portions for use in the winter when berries are far too expensive and taste like red cardboard to boot.  I also made a batch of garlicky dill pickles from my favorite preserving blog Food in Jars. We haven't cracked those open yet, but they should be good.  Yum and garlicky, and since my kids eat pickles almost as voraciously as they eat berries, that recipe will come in handy.  And hey look!  I made a pretty link! 

Suki is settling in nicely, still puppyish, but understandably so, and within reason.  Right now she's curled up at my feet snoring and dreaming twitchy puppy dreams.  And she's still not as cute as my kids.  It's pretty amazing. 

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter!  We sure did. 

Too many hobbies too little time.

So we got a new puppy this weekend.  Boo has been begging for one since our Lady died last fall.  And suddenly I find myself trying to potty train a three month old aussie mix pup and still get everything else done.  I'm tired.  And I need to let some things go.  I have too many hobbies and not enough time right now.  So I think I'm going to have to bail on the breadmaking that I love doing.  I love long fermeting sourdough breads.  I love complex flavors and holey open crumbs and crisp crackling crusts.  But um, not happening right now.  And thats ok.  I'm ok with that.  Because I'm doing some breadmaking, just quicker breads.  No sourdoughs sadly, because I loooooovvvveee a good sourdough, but I'm doing biscuits for the beef stew I'm crockpotting today, and I did a wonderful foccacia last week that made enough to freeze half for this week.  So I'm making realistic choices and enjoying the breadmaking I can do, instead of being pouty about the recipes I can't do.  Also my inlaws are coming for Easter, and I'm totally pulling out some fun cool bread recipes for that.  :D 

I'm also having trouble getting started running again.  Suki will be an awesome running partner. . . . in about a year.  SHe's too young, and too silly on leash to be able to do that reliably with me now.  And, well, lets be honest, by the time I've gotten two kids under the age of five and a dog through the day I am wiped.  Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 830.   And then woke up this morning at 500.  Before the dog and kids.  What's up with that?  And yes, I could have gone running then, after feeding and pottying and playing with the dog.  That was just too much to contemplate too early in the morning.  I haven't figured out what I'm doing about this yet, I'm thinking that waiting till the sun is out a bit later and running between the kids bedtimes is my best bet.  I know I'll have more energy once I start running, and its great for my heart and health, so I need to just suck it up and make the time.  But its hard.

Last but not least, I haven't touched my bassoon since the last concert.  Thats really sad to me.  I love music, and I love making music.  I really need to make time for this too.  HOw and when I don't know but I need to.  It's good for my heart and health too, in a completely different way.  But just as important.

Lastly, reading and crocheting have not fallen completely by the wayside.  I have two layette sets to make before september, and I just need to do the finishing buttons on a giftie for an online friend and mail it off.  I've been reading short stories and trashy romance and young adult fiction but I love these things and they are great brain candy, so I'm happy.  I have plans to start crocheting with wire and beads this summer to intersperse with the layette sets and give myself a challenge, so I'm good there.  And there are tons of new releases this summer I'm eager to get my hands on, and I have a whole bunch of holds trickling in from the library.

So, it sounds like I just need to plan a little better for the bassoon and running.  Once a week for each of them is better than nothing.  I can do that.  Ok. This is Tuesday, and I will run once and bassoon once before next week.  I'll report back.  

Persistance and Peace

Ok.  Lets be honest.  If anyone's still reading out there its probably my mom.  Hi MOM!   Yes I brushed my teeth this morning!   Now that that's out of the way, lets delve into a few things that have been happening in my life, and a few things I'd like to write about here. 

We've all been sick.  Ranging from mild illnesses to more serious ones, over the past winter ever member of this household has been sick AT LEAST TWICE.  Including B, who never gets sick, and never gets sick to the extent he was this winter.  It's been challenging to keep up with that.  Sick people explode outwards with laundry for a radius of five miles it seems.  B does an amazing job helping out, even when sick, but man I feel like we've been fighting an uphill battle this winter.  I will be glad to let the windows open, and the spring in the door.  I hope we've seen our last of illnesses, at least for awhile.

Next, I've been cooking more at home.  Sadly with the sickies, bread baking has taken a backseat, and sourdough? HA!  My poor starter hasn't seen the light of day in months!  But thank goodness for Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day.  Using that method I still get to make bread occasionally, and I've been baking more quick breads and a spate of cakes and cupcakes for various birthdays.  I still am getting my bake on, just in different ways.  I want the kids to eat more healthy foods.  I know that we eat pretty good really, considering, but I'd like to get the girls back to the point where I'm not fighting them to eat mixed up foods, casseroles, soups.   I've started canning as a hobby.  Jams and Jellies mostly.  It has been an education.  Some batches are wonderful, some are less so.  But I am persisting. 

Persistence and Patience are a theme for me right now.  I am trying to be patience with Maus.  She's definitely getting her use out of two already.  And she's a more stubborn child than Boo was, so it takes more repetitions for her to learn that no, actually, throwing a fit, or food, or a toy, or a book, will not get you what you want.  In fact, it generally earns you a time out, or a quick trip back out to the car to cool off.  And she needs that.  She needs my persistence.  I will continue to expect age appropriate behavior and correct those behaviors that are unacceptable.  I refuse to raise brats.  This is meaning a lot of work right now.  I need to remember this, and remember that it was this way with Boo too, and be more patient with myself while in this challenging stage.  But with Persistence and Patience we will make it.  

In the coming weeks I hope to blog a little more regularly.  It helps me to get things out in the cloud.  I think I'm going to aim for once a week.  It fits nicely with my goal, which is to in some manner preserve food for future use once a week.  It can be as simple as freezing some extra from dinner, or a complex as making and par baking pizza crusts or canning some jam or pickles.  Once a week.  I can do that.  This week was the epic orange jelly that set every which way but that which I intended for it.  I had a complete range of sets from orange syrup (yummy martini though!) to orange - well, it was as hard as a rock.  I managed four pints of usable jelly after re boiling it, and one jar of syrup, and one jar of, well, I guess I might melt it and make orange chicken, or orange beef.  We'll see.  

Is it spring yet?  I can't wait to get out in my garden.  I want to plant veggies.  The girls want to play.  I'm so ready for Spring.  Here's where the Patience part comes in I guess. 

bad blogger

ok.  that didn't last long.  :D  I'm a bad blogger for not doing it yesterday, and I don't even have an excuse!  Oh well.  Onward and Upward!  Speaking of which, I ran today.  For twenty five minutes.  Straight.  I darn near fainted typing that.  Six months ago I couldn't run around the block without collapsing into a gelatinous pile of goo.  Today?  Twenty Five Minutes People!   Seriously this is huge.  I am beyond happy.  Number one I have stuck with it.  Through crazy schedules and sick kids.  Through depression and injuries.  I kept at it.  I never gave up.  I had setbacks, but I kept going.  Because this is important.  Its important to my health.  Its important that the girls see me modeling healthy habits.  And because its MY time.  And that's important too.  So.  Ahem.  GO ME!!! 

Noob Gardener

So this year was our second with veggie gardening. I did too many different things and we didn't really get a good harvest of anything. Also I put a bunch of stuff
In the ground too late. Oh well. I love my
Garden and it's fun for me and the girls. They loved eating peas and beans right off the plant. Note to self - more peas and beans next year. My tomatoes were duds. Not enough sun. Too crowded. In the ground too late. Ditto the squash. But we did great with the lettuce and we all love salads. Heh. Boo even wrote salads and tacos as two things she was thankful for. To be fair cartoons and happy meals were also on that list!

So for next year - more peas and beans. Fewer tomato plants. More space for plants. Get an herb garden dug. Those are my goals.

Blergh

Ok - so I forgot until now, but my head is pounding and I'm tired. So - uh - have a great weekend and I'll write tommorrow !