Good Enough

So our orchestra had a concert this last weekend. It was the last concert of the season, and was packed with major literature. Every piece had something in it that would be found on bassoon audition lists. The most vexing of these was the Ravel Piano Concerto. This excerpt is wicked. Wicked. Luckily our conductor had a modicum of self preservation and let us know he'd scheduled it at the end of LAST season.

So.

I've been practicing this excerpt for a year. Which is a long time for me. And I STILL screwed it up in the concert. Luckily I didn't completely fall apart, nor did I take down the entire section. THANK you BETH, you were a rock. But it brought home a problem with my preparation technique that my teachers have been trying to tell me for years. I only practice to sufficiency. In other words, I only practice until its "good enough". And for the Ravel, good enough is NOT good enough. A minor twitch in tempo was enough to throw me off. And it shouldn't have been. In fact, for any audition excerpt, good enough is not good enough. Nerves get in the way. Reeds get temperamental. Tempos fluctuate. And good enough in the practice room is not the same as good enough on stage.

This also makes me wonder about other areas of my life that I prepare to "good enough". Is "good enough" parenting ok? What about being a "good enough" wife? Friend? Relative? Christian? When is "good enough" NOT good enough? Tell me about a time in your life when good enough wasn't. Or when you think good enough is ok. Either way.

I can haz moar tiem plz?

I have been slapped in the face recently with the evidence that I need to slow down more recently. Between Maus being the fearless little toddler she is and the Ravel Piano Concerto concert looming, everything in my life is pointing to the fact that I need to be more mindful in my life. If I can't play the Ravel cleanly at 126 it's sure not gonna work at 144. If I don't make it all the way through my workout tape with the beginner mods I'm going to have a hard time getting the workout done up to speed. My crocheted sweater will get finished even if I can only do a couple rows a week. My garden is going to grow at its own pace, not mine. It's not a big deal if Boo takes a few extra minutes to hop down from the car, or put on her shoes, or get dressed. Maus is going to go at her own pace no matter what I think (but honestly Maus tends to do the opposite of slow most days!).

What I find frustrating is that I thought I was pretty good about being patient and slow. But recently I guess I've slipped. Our schedule has gotten busier, and we have less time to get places than we used to. Between story times, swim lessons, chores and errands, it has been a very busy couple of months for us. I have deliberately chosen to cut out swim lessons for the summer, and we're gonna chill out and relax before Boo starts preschool in the fall. We're gonna hang out in the backyard and smoke stuff and play. We're gonna go to the Zoo every chance we get (Thanks Gramma and Grampa!). I'm going to try to worry less about getting chores done, and more about playing with the girls. Less tv time, more play time. More outside time. More time. Period.

Don't we all wish we had more time?

It makes me wonder how other parents do this? I mean, I feel like I'm pretty good about limiting the girls to a few activities that I know they'll enjoy. But I see kids running from one activity to another, and its just mind boggling. If I'm struggling to keep things together with the limited activities we do, how do other parents with kids more involved ever get anything done? It's all about balance, and I know this is something that I'm going to be dealing with for a long time.

In which I apologise for my super crappy first post.

So I was going to have a really nicely thought out first post. With meaning, and substance. And then Maus spilled the dog water again, blew out her diaper and bonked her head on the kitchen table. This is typical of days around here right now. Yesterday she dumped my iPhone in the dog water while I was letting the dog out to poop. About a week ago she fell on the concrete patio and scraped her forehead pretty bad. She is testing . . . . . well, I guess everything. My patience, her limits, her balance, her strength, gravity, and water.

Oh the water.

My kitchen floor is the most disgusting thing you have ever seen, because when Maus spills the dog bowl for the third time in a day I'm too tired of dealing with it to do more than mop up the excess water. Which means that the crumbs of last nights dinner that Maus dropped to the floor to save for later snacking get all mushy and gross, and the dog "makes tracks" as Boo says, in the water with her dirty paws, and the whole thing is just generally disgusting. Martha Stewart I am not.

So, this blog will be a place for me to vent. Which I do quite often. Its not that I don't enjoy my life. I do. And I need a place where my snark can come out in full force. Because clearly my four year old does not need to learn sarcasm quite yet. This is a place for me to be me. Feel free to comment. Feel free to read. Feel free to tell me that I'm boring the pants off you. Or not.

Trials of a Suburban Bassoon

So I'm going to start this blog. And then I'm not going to update it frequently. And then I'm going to come back and swear to update more frequently. And I will lie. As I'm lying to you now by promising that thats not going to happen. And I will probably post pictures of bread. And crocheted things. And maybe my kids. But not my bassoon. My bassoon is camera shy. So enjoy the ride cause it won't last long. Really. But hey it'll be fun while it lasts.