bad blogger

ok.  that didn't last long.  :D  I'm a bad blogger for not doing it yesterday, and I don't even have an excuse!  Oh well.  Onward and Upward!  Speaking of which, I ran today.  For twenty five minutes.  Straight.  I darn near fainted typing that.  Six months ago I couldn't run around the block without collapsing into a gelatinous pile of goo.  Today?  Twenty Five Minutes People!   Seriously this is huge.  I am beyond happy.  Number one I have stuck with it.  Through crazy schedules and sick kids.  Through depression and injuries.  I kept at it.  I never gave up.  I had setbacks, but I kept going.  Because this is important.  Its important to my health.  Its important that the girls see me modeling healthy habits.  And because its MY time.  And that's important too.  So.  Ahem.  GO ME!!! 

Noob Gardener

So this year was our second with veggie gardening. I did too many different things and we didn't really get a good harvest of anything. Also I put a bunch of stuff
In the ground too late. Oh well. I love my
Garden and it's fun for me and the girls. They loved eating peas and beans right off the plant. Note to self - more peas and beans next year. My tomatoes were duds. Not enough sun. Too crowded. In the ground too late. Ditto the squash. But we did great with the lettuce and we all love salads. Heh. Boo even wrote salads and tacos as two things she was thankful for. To be fair cartoons and happy meals were also on that list!

So for next year - more peas and beans. Fewer tomato plants. More space for plants. Get an herb garden dug. Those are my goals.

Blergh

Ok - so I forgot until now, but my head is pounding and I'm tired. So - uh - have a great weekend and I'll write tommorrow !

Struggling

Some days it's easy. Things fall into place, kids are well behaved, schedules align magically and life smoothly rolls along. But some days, despite best efforts - it's hard. I want to be eloquent and verbose here, but it's too hard. And I'm tired of reading about cheery moms with more time and money than sense. So here it is. I'm struggling, and it's no fun.

It takes a village.

So, I started running this summer.  I just got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.  And the couch to five K program seemed like something I could do.  So I did.  And it was easy in the summer to run, which I did three times a week.  I got through five weeks of the nine week program pretty steadily.  I lost a little bit of weight too, which was nice.

But fall came.  The days are shorter, and it gets dark when I have time to run.  Our schedules are waaay busier, and I am too tired in the evenings to think about running.  Luckily one of my neighbors noticed my dilemma and offered a solution.  So once a week, usually on Tuesdays but not always, Miss C comes and sits with my girls while they nap.  And I?  I am able to run.  It is wonderful. Progress has been slow though.  Illness and scheduling have eaten into my routine.   Since the beginning of October I have not completed ONE WEEK in the couch to five K.  I am STILL stuck on week six.  And ya know what?  I'm ok with that.  It's not a race.  :D  I am lowering my expectations.  My goal is to run twice a week now.  Once, on whatever Day Miss C and I come up with, and once on the weekends.  So far I've been ok about keeping up. 

Knowing that someone else is interrupting her schedule to sit with the munchkins while I run is a great motivator.  Also a great stress reliever.  The girls (maus especially) are just not at an age when I can leave them alone for long enough to run.  And it is important that I do this.  It is important to my health, and it makes a difference in my energy levels.  I look forward to the solitude and music.  I look forward to achieving that little bit extra that I didn't last time out.  Running a bit faster, a bit farther, being a little bit less out of breath or less sore the next day.  So it is worth it to carve out this time, and I'm lucky I live in a neighborhood where if you don't ask for help, people offer it regardless.  It does indeed take a village.  And what a great village I live in. 

Challenging Days

The first Wednesday of every month B has a meeting in the evenings.  It runs until after both girls are in bed most of the time, so I am the main parental unit for the whole day on those days.  This isn't really a big deal, he takes the "night shift" on days when I have rehearsal, and that's every week, not just once a month.  However, when you're staring two kids under the age of five in the face all day long, it can be daunting.  I look forward to B coming home.  Just the presence of another adult in the house is reassuring.  Yes. I know how to take care of my girls, and I do a damn fine job of it most of the time.  But this gig is draining.  And on the days when he works late?  It shows.  More tv is watched.  More junk food is consumed.  Expectations need to be lowered.  I feel like such a cop out writing this.  Single mothers around the globe are looking at me in disdain right now.  But this is how it is, and this is how it works in our house.

Take today for instance.  B's meeting + preschool day + one car = a tight schedule that takes nap time and employs extreme defenestration.  Both girls did the dreaded sleep in the car nap, which is a true harbinger of doom in our house.  Sorry girls, but 20 minutes of nap in the car while mamma's driving does not equal nap time.  Momma needs this break.  So, we unloaded the girls and gave B hugs and kisses pleaded with him to stay please for the love of god stay,   and then the girls had to have quiet time.  Boo was more than willing, tired as she was from preschool.  Maus?  Are you kidding me?  Time to partAAAYY!  She's currently in her crib throwing the mother of all temper tantrums.  Boo is probably passed out and oblivious, or playing quietly in her room like she's supposed to.  That's the difference between these two.  Boo bends to the rules or dodges them artfully so as to minimize the ill effect.  Maus?  Um.  Bull. China shop.  Brick head.  Wall.  You get where I'm going with this. These girls are as different as night and day, and while that's incredibly cool, it's sorta challenging at times.

So after the disaster of quiet time both girls will be more needy and clingy tonight.  They will both want my attention at once and fight with each other to get it.  Maus will want to play rough to keep herself awake, and Boo will get whiny and demanding.  I'm hoping to channel their frustrations into some paints time after quiet time, and maybe a walk around the block depending on what time I let them out of purgatory quiet time.  I'm beginning to learn that they and I deal with this time of day better when we have something a little more structured than TV to do.  Paints.  Coloring.  Worksheets. Walks or playing outside.  Sometimes reading books, but sometimes that backfires, I dunno why.  So we'll try some of these things and see how it goes.  Also?  I'm learning that my afternoon cup of tea is JUST as critical as the morning one or I get seriously cranky too.  And cranky kids + cranky mom = baaaad situation.  Here's hoping putting all this out on "paper" will help me actually do these things instead of opting out because I'm too tired, to lazy, what have you.

Day two and I almost forgot!

So it's day two and I almost forgot to blog.  Sheesh.  The girls are being handfuls today, and I really needed to take some chill time during nap time, which is my designated blog, crochet, practice, whatever time.  So.

I did crochet today, and I've been working on lots of projects.  I've had a spate of friends and acquaintances get knocked up recently, and I've been making baby blankets and baby sweaters like mad.  I just finished two adorable baby sweaters for my friend who is due with twins, and a blanket for a friend of my dads.  I have a baby blanket on the hook for a friend due in early January, and a hoodie for Boo for Christmas.  I try not to do too many crocheted gifts for Xmas, B is kinda weird about it, and I have eyes way bigger than my hooks for how many projects I can reasonably get done before Xmas.  I tend to start small, "oh I 'll just do Boo's hoodie" and then it escalates "oh and I'll just do crocheted snowflakes for stocking stuffers, and crocheted gift tags, and plushies for all the little kids and "  and then my brain explodes in a smoking pile of goo.  I always find just one more thing I want to make.  The girls need slippers.  The girls need mittens.  Wouldn't it be nice to make hats for everyone?  But I can only do so much, and I don't have time to crochet seven hours a day.  So.  I just finished some slippers for Boo.  I need to get white and black yarn, because I'm making character slippers from yo gabba gabba at her request.  I want to do a pair of Elmo slippers for maus, because once I have the black and white yarn I already have more red.  I might to something for B, which I'm not saying in case he actually reads the blog.  :D  But other than those things and the sweater and blanket, that's it.  I know, right?  Tons to get done before Xmas.  But oh well.  I enjoy it, its something to do that keeps my hands busy and creates nice things to give and keep.  I just finished a sweater I'd been working on for literally two years a couple months ago, a lovely blue cardi.  I intend to make a short sleeved version for myself for summer sometime after the new year.  Maybe get some lovely artisan yarn.  That's the next thing I'd like to do, start using really good quality yarns for my projects.  I'd also like to do a ripple blanket to use up some of the odds and ends I have in my stash.  Again that must wait till after Xmas.  Lots going on in crochet world for me.  Oddly I find crocheting a seasonal habit.  I ignore it in the summer and pick it up again in fall and winter. 

Can I blog every day? Lets find out, shall we?

So.  It's November.  And supposedly there's this thing where you are supposed to write or blog every day?  NaNoWriMo?  Something like that?  And I've been a total blogging slacker.  So. Uh, sure, I'll play.  :D  Let's see how this goes shall we?  First off.  I'm going to list the topics I'll blog about for the month.  As many as I can think of.  And you all can leave suggestions in the comments for any I leave blank.

1. Perfume
2. crocheting - current projects
3. dealing with the girls all day when B has late meetings
4.  running
5. busy schedules with preschool
6. what worked in the garden this year and what didn't
7. meal planning
8. crock pot cooking
9.  All about Me
10. All about Boo
11. trying to cook healthy
12. Trying to maintain healthy attitudes towards food
13. struggles with petite sizing - aka I'm short.
14. struggles with footwear and plantar faciitis
15. bread baking
16. favorite author
17. why is the list always longer than the day?
18.
19. Current Book
20. All about Maus
21. Favorite iPhone apps
22.Favorite piece of classical music
23.
24.Favorite singer non classical
25. being thankful for what I've got
26.
27. freezer canning
28.
29. All About B
30. did I do it every day?  did it change me?  how? 

OK that's what I've got.  Make sure you post in the comments for ideas about those four empty days ok?


Now on to perfume.

I read the perfume posse blog.  Its on my sidebar of blogs I read. I love the writing, and they have taught me so much about perfume.  Witty and insightful, always willing to laugh at themselves and the absurdity of life, this is a Must read in my feed reader.   And so, when they challenged their readers to committing to one scent for an entire week I was game.  Now, let me preface this by saying.  I am a perfume noob.  Total.  Noob.  I enjoy the idea of luxury fragrances, and the mystique of the perfume industry, but my budget is way more in line with B&BW than Chanel or Guerlain.  So my scent for the week is Victoria's Secret Dream Angels Divine.  I have loved this scent for awhile, and I have a half bottle of it that I'd like to use up.  I am a sporadic fragrance wearer, and I'd like to be more regular about it.  These goals are combined for this week long challenge.  And so, of course, today I wake up with allergies raging madly.  Sigh.  So here it is, two o clock, and me still in my jammies and unscented.  Oh well, I'll spritz some on in a little bit.   The notes are lotus, lily, rose, amber and blond woods.  Its a light scent very feminine, and I like it a lot.  Its one I don't have to think about. So that's what I'm wearing.  I've been ordering samples a lot, and I like that.  I like trying different scents, but eventually I'd like to pick something for my signature scent.  I have several contenders and I might end up getting a few different bottles, but for now, that's just not possible.  Plus I have lots of samples to enjoy first! 

This job rocks

You know - being a SAHM is hard. Harder than my day job was for sure. It is isolating, frustrating, and can be extremely thankless. But seriously? It also rocks. I have the luxury of staying home with my girls. I watch them grow every day. We color, bake bread and go to the park. I get to see the cute smiles, the first new steps or words, the new milestones. I get to watch maus devour a pb&j after a week of piss poor appetite. I get to sit with her at lunch and wonder what she's staring so intently at as she devours said sammich. I get to help maus walk down stairs and watch boo try the big girl swings. This job rocks. The dishes can wait.

Yes, I am that Hippie Mom. Sorry.

I like to bake.  Bread specifically.  I don't remember what started me on this journey, but its been darn tasty.  I don't mind baking cakes and sweets when the occasion calls for them, but there is something very viscerally satisfying about sawing through a crusty loaf fresh out of the oven, the steam still rising from the loaf, the yeasty aroma wafting in your face as you inhale.  And then taking that first bite.  The "OMG is it decent?  It smells good, it looks good, but does it TASTE good?" bite.   Crunchy crust, soft creamy crumb, almost melting the mouth, but a decent amount of chew on the back end.  The lovely tang from sourdough?  God I love that.

 I love taking a handful of humble ingredients and elevating them to something approaching art.  I love the tactile sensation of a good dough under your hands.  And the fact that you KNOW its a good dough, just because of how it feels.  I love taking that dough and making something unique and delicious out of it.  I love taking that dough and throwing whatever I have in the pantry freezer or garden and making something completely different.  I love knowing exactly what I'm feeding my kids.  Exactly what goes into this bread, and exactly what does NOT.  I love knowing that Boo knows how much work it is to make bread, and still wants to help.  I love that she will have this to look back on as time with her Momma.  I enjoy finding new recipes to try, and I enjoy making riffs on recipes that I've already done.  I rarely have any loafs that are inedible, and each one is a learning experience.  I love talking with B about what we like and don't like about the various iterations.  I enjoy the fact that we can be so candid about this - without egos or hurt feelings.  This is important for the girls too, to see that something can be talked about in both positive and not so positive terms, and its ok.  Its ok for the bread to be awesome, but its ok for the bread to be not so great, and we can learn from it either way.

Finding Time to Practice

I like to plan.  Those of you who know me well are rolling on the floor laughing your butts off at that sentence.  Saying I like to plan is like saying the Pope is Catholic, or the ocean is wet, or beaches are sandy.  I exsist, therefore I plan. 

I am beginning to think that this is why I struggle to practice - when I'm not actively taking lessons that is. And I'm highly unlikely to find random 100$ bills in the couch to pay for lessons.  Yes.  They're that expensive.  I practiced alot when I was in grad school.  Not 8 hours a day practice, like some of my classmates, but I logged a decent number of hours.  But after grad school, and a year of dissapointing auditions, I fell off the praciting bandwagon.  I had wagon tracks permantly tatooed on my back.  I would start up, vow to keep it up, and fall off again about two weeks in.  The only things that kept me practicing regularly were sints as a teacher, and the community orchestra I played for.  This is key.  I need goals.  A concert, a lesson, a recital.  Without goals, how can I plan?  And without a plan how can I exsist?  And, sadly, I'm only sorta kidding here. 

This summer, a friend and I vowed to get together and play.  We've done it once.  She's called me a couple times to reschedule, and we're gonna play again in a couple weeks.  My crazy life precludes anything sooner right now, and truthfully, I don't want her to know how bad I probably sound right now.  I will get back in shape.  I will not attend the first rehearsal of the season with dread because I know I have no endurance left.  I downloaded an app for my phone which is supposed to help me plan my practice.  If I can find time to run, I can find time to practice.  If I can find time to devour three books a week, I can find time to practice.  If I can find time to bake three loaves of bread in a day, I can find time to practice.  If B can find time to program (for FUN????) an hour EVERY.  DAY?  I can find time to practice a couple times a week.  In grad school I practiced four hours a day most days, and at LEAST an hour every single day.  The only way I could accomplish that now is if I could strap the kids to the couch, and, apparently that's frowned upon.   Just because I can't devote that kind of time to it right now is no reason to skive off completely.  Much can be accomplished in half an hour.  I need to remember that.  And Auntie L?  Don't kill me in a couple weeks, ok?  :D

As a Mom, even one without a car, there are days where I feel like I am running from the time I get up to the time I collapse in bed at night.  There are however, things that I've discovered along the way that help me out.  Things that make life a little bit easier.  Not all of these are material things, but mostly thats what I'm gonna talk about today.  Many of my friends are either Moms, Soon to Be Moms, or entering the phase of their lives where they are thinking about being moms.  I do NOT claim to have found the best of what's out there, but I would like to share a couple things that I dearly love.  And we'll see if I can figure out how to link pictures in a post eh?  Double challenge!  Write coherently AND post pics. 

First things first.  You got kids?  You got poop.  Or pee.  Or both.  and you need to deal with it.  These things make changing diapers less horrible for us.

This is Diaper pod.  Well, we call it Diaper Pod.  Seriously the best travel changing pad ever.  Comes with a wipes container, big enough for a toddler change, and has very useful well thought out features.  We take this thing everywhere we go.






Next up, another Munchkin Product.  And no, they don't pay me or give me anything, I just like their stuff.

This.  Is.  DIAPER DUCKIE! Diaper duck will take your nastiest diapers and render them unsmellable.  Even after a day in a hot car in the sun.  That unsmellable.  Yes.  We know this from experience.  Yes its gross.  So is having kids sometimes.  Get over it.  Diaper Duckie is also handy for those, "oops I didn't make it to the potty" wet or smelly clothes.  If its wet and smelly, put it in one of these bags.  If the kids are bored and fractious, let them play with the duck.   Its a multitasker! 





Ok, now that we've got the poop under control (yeah right), what about the input?  I have tried dozens (and I do mean dozens just ask my husband) of sippy and straw cups.  Again, Munchkin has the best.  They don't leak (unless the inner seal pops out) they are resistant to being chewed on, the parts are simple and they go in the dishwasher, though after awhile the design does wear off from dishwashering.

We have both the Dora and Spongebob ones, and the tops and seals are completely interchangeable, despite being bought literally years apart.  We've had the Spongebob ones for about two years, and they are still the most leak proof cups in the house.

I also really like The First Years Take and Toss cups.  Definately not as leak proof, but sometimes that's ok,




Now that drinks and butts are taken care of, lets talk for a minute about other things that make life with kids easier. 

Constantly packing snacks.  The days when I don't plan for snacking these girls, it's like I've been thrown to the wolves and ripped apart limb from limb.  It might just be my kids, they would graze all day if I let them, but I don't think so.  So, always having a supply of something on hand really helps me avoid meltdowns.  When I was nursing it was easy, whip out a boob and there ya go.  Instant snack.  With bottles it was a little more involved, what with the formula and the water and whatnot.  Still though, once my babies were done with the bottle or boob, I had a hard time remembering that they needed to eat more often.  I still forget sometimes.  Yes.  I suck.  I know.  I'm starving these kids.  Let me show you Maus' rolls.  Girl can Tank. UP.  But it's easier with the toddler snacks that are on the market now.  Here are a few of my favorites.

Puffy Noms we called them.  The sweet potato flavor was so good we'd eat just as much as the kids.  Great for little ones just starting on solids.  A note though, these are NOT mess free.  You will find puffy noms in the MOST disturbing places.  Trust me.  They stick to EVERYTHING.  But hey, good, portable, cheap, healthy, easy to eat snack. 

Along the same lines as the Puffy Noms above, these are in yogurt form.  The mixed berries were good, but the peach ones?  Yeah, it was often one for baby two for mom with those things.  Again, NOT mess free, have a wipe handy, but dang.  So. Good. 



So we've discussed snacks, drinks and butts.  Why am I not breaking out the big guns?  Car seats? Strollers? Slings?  Well, because i'm not God.  I don't have all the answers, and I'm not particularly happy with all the choices we've made in those areas.  For example, the best sling I used for Maus was the scarf that came free with my 8$ dress from the Gap.  I liked the Snugli we had, liked it a lot, and Boo went with me everywhere in that thing for nearly a year, but Maus never liked it.  She loved the scarf though.  I liked our first stroller with Boo, an Evenflo, but I carried groceries in it back and forth for six months and broke the wheels.  I like the stroller we have now for Maus, a Graco, but the sunshade is essentially useless.  Also this post is already long enough.  :D 

There are tons more things that make my life easier, like my iPhone and my husband.  Not in that order.  :D  Having a sense of humor helps.  Even if I lose it from time to time. 

Patience.  This one I need to work on.  I have been told by others that I'm patient, but man it's hard to see that, and  I do not feel patient at times.   Like when Boo comes downstairs nekkid for the THIRD TIME because she can't find her panties, wants to show us her ghost friend, can't find pirate skirt, et cetera et cetera. 

My crazy life

So - the last few weeks have been crazy ones. We went home to Iowa to baptize Maus and have a vacation. Lady took a turn for the worse during that and I had to come home and have her put to sleep. July is filled with reunions and parties and get togethers with friends and family. And I? I am trying not to go pear shaped. Well. More pear shaped. In every possible way. This next week I'll do a more detailed post. I'd like to find an iPhone app that doesn't suck - for blogging - but I'm not seeing anything that doesn't cost like ten bucks. And seriously ? At ten bucks the thing should damn well type my post, deliver my iced tea and change Maus' stinky diaper.

Making time to be a Musician as well as a Mom.

I had arranged with a good friend - Maus' Godmother - to get together for a reading session.  She is a gifted pianist who teaches at a local area Y (No Boo, NOT the K, the Y!!) and we have worked together in the past.  This summer we decided to make a regular rehearsal session a priority for both of us.  It'll be good for both of us to play over the summer, and since she's a stickler for intonation (how not as a pianist - she's always "right"!)  it will be very beneficial for me, out of tune schlump that I am.  :D 

So her studio at the Y has a childcare drop in center, very reasonably priced.  We get there and head down to the playroom - full.  Waiting list full.  No chance in hell are these girls gonna fit in this space full.  So - we regroup.  There is another studio with a smaller piano, but more space for all four of us, and we head up there.  Boo is fascinated by the sights along the way - Look Momma, a pool!  Can we swim? Look Momma, they're doing stretches, can I ?  Look Auntie - they're RUNNINNG!!!! Maus just clings to Auntie and keeps an eagle eye on me to make sure wherever we're going I end up there too.   :D  We reach the studio and break out the snacks.   Nothing like fruit snacks to dispel any lingering resentment at being shown a room full of toys and kids and being told you can't play.  Auntie breaks out the wipeboard and magnetic letters and we're off. 

We manage to get quite a bit of work done around diaper changes, snack requests, and meter feeding runs.  The girls manage to amuse more than annoy, and we all adjourn to a local noodle shop for lunch.  This could not have been possible with less than well behaved children.  We had reasonable expectations, paused to give them the attention they needed, and made it clear when we were working.  And they respected that for the most part.  There were some hilarious moments too.  Maus clearly felt the Rachmaninoff was superior to the Vivaldi, and made sure Auntie and I knew it.  Boo declared herself our de facto conductor (and admitedly I needed one!) trying to beat time with a pencil we gave her and declaring it was "My Turn to Practice NOW".  Auntie did give her a short piano lesson during a meter feeding run, and she had a blast. 

The point I'm making here is, let your kids know when it's your time, and when it's theirs.  My music is important to me.  My girls know this.  They are not allowed to touch my instrument or its accessories without permission and supervision.  This is a hard and fast rule.  They are not to interupt me if I'm practicing unless absolutely necesary.  Bassoon time, is Momma time.  Now, this usually isn't a big deal because I usually practice when they're napping or B is home, but these rules are standard at our house.  If my girls hadn't been used to that, this might have been a nightmare.  Instead they were well behaved for the most part.  Nobodys perfect, and certainly my girls aren't, but today has been a big ego boost to me as a Mom.  And as a musician.  Playing with Auntie L is one of the funnest things in the world.  We laugh, we screw up, we rehearse, and we make each other play better.  And the fact that we did it with two critics - I mean kids - in the room made it even more fun.  I can't wait for our next session.  I better make some new reeds and practice before then though!

I said this would happen!

So - I said I would neglect this blog. And lo, it has occured. And so, I will try to do better. But I won't garauntee anything. So - I'm working on a post about my favorite things as a mom, and one about crocheting. You should see these soon. Snort. Yeah right. If the geriatric dog and toddler ever take a break from pooping!

Good Enough

So our orchestra had a concert this last weekend. It was the last concert of the season, and was packed with major literature. Every piece had something in it that would be found on bassoon audition lists. The most vexing of these was the Ravel Piano Concerto. This excerpt is wicked. Wicked. Luckily our conductor had a modicum of self preservation and let us know he'd scheduled it at the end of LAST season.

So.

I've been practicing this excerpt for a year. Which is a long time for me. And I STILL screwed it up in the concert. Luckily I didn't completely fall apart, nor did I take down the entire section. THANK you BETH, you were a rock. But it brought home a problem with my preparation technique that my teachers have been trying to tell me for years. I only practice to sufficiency. In other words, I only practice until its "good enough". And for the Ravel, good enough is NOT good enough. A minor twitch in tempo was enough to throw me off. And it shouldn't have been. In fact, for any audition excerpt, good enough is not good enough. Nerves get in the way. Reeds get temperamental. Tempos fluctuate. And good enough in the practice room is not the same as good enough on stage.

This also makes me wonder about other areas of my life that I prepare to "good enough". Is "good enough" parenting ok? What about being a "good enough" wife? Friend? Relative? Christian? When is "good enough" NOT good enough? Tell me about a time in your life when good enough wasn't. Or when you think good enough is ok. Either way.

I can haz moar tiem plz?

I have been slapped in the face recently with the evidence that I need to slow down more recently. Between Maus being the fearless little toddler she is and the Ravel Piano Concerto concert looming, everything in my life is pointing to the fact that I need to be more mindful in my life. If I can't play the Ravel cleanly at 126 it's sure not gonna work at 144. If I don't make it all the way through my workout tape with the beginner mods I'm going to have a hard time getting the workout done up to speed. My crocheted sweater will get finished even if I can only do a couple rows a week. My garden is going to grow at its own pace, not mine. It's not a big deal if Boo takes a few extra minutes to hop down from the car, or put on her shoes, or get dressed. Maus is going to go at her own pace no matter what I think (but honestly Maus tends to do the opposite of slow most days!).

What I find frustrating is that I thought I was pretty good about being patient and slow. But recently I guess I've slipped. Our schedule has gotten busier, and we have less time to get places than we used to. Between story times, swim lessons, chores and errands, it has been a very busy couple of months for us. I have deliberately chosen to cut out swim lessons for the summer, and we're gonna chill out and relax before Boo starts preschool in the fall. We're gonna hang out in the backyard and smoke stuff and play. We're gonna go to the Zoo every chance we get (Thanks Gramma and Grampa!). I'm going to try to worry less about getting chores done, and more about playing with the girls. Less tv time, more play time. More outside time. More time. Period.

Don't we all wish we had more time?

It makes me wonder how other parents do this? I mean, I feel like I'm pretty good about limiting the girls to a few activities that I know they'll enjoy. But I see kids running from one activity to another, and its just mind boggling. If I'm struggling to keep things together with the limited activities we do, how do other parents with kids more involved ever get anything done? It's all about balance, and I know this is something that I'm going to be dealing with for a long time.

In which I apologise for my super crappy first post.

So I was going to have a really nicely thought out first post. With meaning, and substance. And then Maus spilled the dog water again, blew out her diaper and bonked her head on the kitchen table. This is typical of days around here right now. Yesterday she dumped my iPhone in the dog water while I was letting the dog out to poop. About a week ago she fell on the concrete patio and scraped her forehead pretty bad. She is testing . . . . . well, I guess everything. My patience, her limits, her balance, her strength, gravity, and water.

Oh the water.

My kitchen floor is the most disgusting thing you have ever seen, because when Maus spills the dog bowl for the third time in a day I'm too tired of dealing with it to do more than mop up the excess water. Which means that the crumbs of last nights dinner that Maus dropped to the floor to save for later snacking get all mushy and gross, and the dog "makes tracks" as Boo says, in the water with her dirty paws, and the whole thing is just generally disgusting. Martha Stewart I am not.

So, this blog will be a place for me to vent. Which I do quite often. Its not that I don't enjoy my life. I do. And I need a place where my snark can come out in full force. Because clearly my four year old does not need to learn sarcasm quite yet. This is a place for me to be me. Feel free to comment. Feel free to read. Feel free to tell me that I'm boring the pants off you. Or not.

Trials of a Suburban Bassoon

So I'm going to start this blog. And then I'm not going to update it frequently. And then I'm going to come back and swear to update more frequently. And I will lie. As I'm lying to you now by promising that thats not going to happen. And I will probably post pictures of bread. And crocheted things. And maybe my kids. But not my bassoon. My bassoon is camera shy. So enjoy the ride cause it won't last long. Really. But hey it'll be fun while it lasts.